I feel like abortions should bother me more
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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