bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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