just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
