I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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