Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
It's not a walk of shame if you run
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
