Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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