I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Randomize
