dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
