did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
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