Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
