I can text with my tongue
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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