i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
