Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
