This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Randomize
