I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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