Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
