Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
