My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
