I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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