My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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