she sounds like chewbacca in bed
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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