she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
