He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
