My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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