yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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