We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm both gender and math confused
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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