I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
