So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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