You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
