people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
