why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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