you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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