so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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