She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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