Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I want you more than these girls want KFC
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count