you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar