She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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