My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
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