all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.