After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.