why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE