Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(602): View more from Arizona

i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...

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(931): View more from Tennessee

woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?

(615): View more from Tennessee

New experience?

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.

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(248): View more from Michigan

If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.

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25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Read it at the TFLN blog
(915): View more from Texas

when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up

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(703): View more from Virginia

the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.

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(253): View more from Washington

Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.

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(419): View more from Ohio

Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?

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