i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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