he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
