omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Randomize
