The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
