who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I skipped work to stalk him.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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