You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
