Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
