just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Two words: nipple clamps
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