all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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