he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
