so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
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His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
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It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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