last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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