you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize