He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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