ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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