i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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