Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
