I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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