He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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