its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
