Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
