Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
