thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
