I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Randomize
