a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize