She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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