some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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