Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
