i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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