shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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