stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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